BAD contact
Finally, barelyadraft gives in to the pressure – we call it barelyadraft contact or “BAD Contact”. Starting today (or whichever day you read this page the first time), we give you, our dear reader (yes, singular…), the opportunity to contact us here at barelyadraft head quarters. The reason is pressure from the millions of daily readers who, we have found out, struggle to get in contact with us concerning their issues. Some of the reasons that immediately spring to mind of where you could need to contact us are:
You want to send me large amounts of money (or small, but we will have to assume large since you’re a rich bastard, are ya?!!), but just can’t seem to find my bank account number anywhere on the site. Fear not, simply write in the form below and soon enough your money will be on our bank account, ready to be spent by barelyadraft!
- Note to the lovely people from Nigeria. Bank account numbers does not equal credit card numbers, so don’t bother. Also, over the past few years we have found out that barelyadraft apparently come from a family who has had MANY family members emigrate to Nigeria. Remarkably since our family come has traced its roots back to the 1600s and none of them (that we know of) went to Nigeria. Crazy!
- Inquire about the postal address where you should send the gift(s) you have bought for us from the wish list
The next one is a big one. The form below allows you to give us the praise we deserve. Hail us for the good work we’re doing. It can be for the little things like how we saved the world economy to the larger things of ensuring the internet is updated so you can procrastinate while at work or at home (we serve both markets!!), or some of the other things barelyadraft has been credited with internationally. To name a few we cured cancer*, diabetes* and started the ecological movement*. We also trained Al Gore on the environment*
Offer barelyadraft a job. We are always willing to discuss jobs opportunities where you pay us very well for minimal work on our side. We actually don’t care about the money – we really do it for the children. Remember they are our future! Oh yes, we also do it for world health. Not enough people think about these critical issues. But seriously, offer barelyadraft a butt-load of money (up front, cash only, no rain-checks…) and we will do you bidding, dear master.
Ask for psychological advice because you are either too cheap to go to a real doctor, to hardly hit by the financial crisis and/or simply to dumb/ignorant or insane to realize that what you are doing it simply a BAD (<= barelyadraft) idea. At any rate, we will reply!
- Showcase your massive intellect by dissing what we are writing about and educate us on what we should be writing about. Of course we would like to hear from your on this issue. We can all agree that it is always nice to hear from know-it-alls! thanks in advance!
Send the hate-mail you erroneously think we deserve (and here, we solemnly promise to post your mail and give you a broadside of non-verbal smacking that will make you think about suing us for libel – a case you will lose…you douché
Send us money – do it – seriously, give it some extra thought. We live on dry week-old bread and polluted water in our “offices”, which consists of cardboard boxes, reinforced with duct tape. We need your support to keep this vehicle moving, spreading the joy
The above bullet points are of course just what flew to the top of our minds that you would want to write to us about. You might have others that are closer to your mind, and we’ll be very happy somewhat indifferent to hear from you on those issues also.
So give it a go in the form below. Tell us what’s on your mind and how we can help. Remember, barelyadraft is here for you, in good times and in bad – and we tell it to you straight (so yes, your butt looks big in the naked pictures you sent us)!
Your location has been identified as part of a reported spam network. Contact form has been disabled to prevent spam.
*Completely made up, as so any other things on the site. Pay no attention to it
